The Cure For “I Know”

Notes On Communication, Connection, And Collaboration

At a recent event, I watched Eric M. Bailey, the bestselling author of The Cure for Stupidity, do something most speakers do not: he made the room feel different. Not “inspired for a day” different. More like “I’m going to think about this next week when I’m frustrated at work” different.

These are my notes, organized so you can apply them inside your organization right now. If your team is stretched thin, if meetings feel heavier than they should, or if you are tired of “dealing with people” being the hardest part of your job, this one is worth your time.

Why This Matters For Agencies

Most of us work in environments where:

• We wear too many hats
• We are expected to move fast and communicate clearly
• We may need buy-in across departments, boards, vendors, and members
• One misunderstanding can turn into a week of friction

Eric’s core point was simple: if you want different results, you have to do something different. And the best signal that you are doing something different is that it feels different.

The Big Idea: The 3C’s Of The Human Experience

Eric frames healthy teams and healthy workplaces through three fundamentals:

1. Connection
2. Collaboration
3. Communication

When those three are strong, work feels lighter, faster, and more human. When those three break down, everything feels harder than it needs to.

Principle 1: The Illusion Of Certainty

Eric kicked off with a deceptively simple exercise: count the letter “F” in a sentence

Most people were highly confident and still wrong.

That is the point.

What the illusion of certainty looks like at work

The illusion of certainty is our brain’s habit of projecting confidence even when we do not have enough information.

You see it when:

• Timelines get promised too quickly
• People overcommit and miss deadlines
• Teams assume they are aligned because everyone nodded
• Leaders answer before they ask the second question

The leadership takeaway

Confidence is not proof of correctness.

So in meetings, planning, and decision making, build in space for:

• “What are we missing?”
• “What assumptions are we making?”
• “What would change our mind?”

That extra minute saves days later.

The “Oh Crap Gap” Is Where Learning Happens

Eric used a second exercise around recognizing the Apple logo. People were confident until they saw multiple options. Then the confidence collapsed.

He calls that moment the Oh Crap Gap.

That gap is uncomfortable, but it is also valuable because it is the space where learning can happen.

How to use this at work

When you feel yourself getting defensive, irritated, or rushed to prove you are right, pause and label it:

• “This is my Oh Crap Gap.”
• “I might not know this as well as I think.”

That mental reset keeps you curious instead of combative.

A Quick (And Powerful) Habit Shift: Say “I Don’t Know”

Eric pushed hard on this:

• Not knowing is the key to learning.
• The most effective people actively seek what they do not yet know.

If you do not know something, try saying:

• “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.”
• “I don’t know, and I can’t wait to learn with you.”

That is not a weakness. That is leadership and trust building in real time.

Connection: Small Talk Is Not The Goal, It Is The Doorway

Eric is an introvert, and he says what introverts already know: small talk can feel brutal.

But his point was important:

• To get to depth, you have to get through the surface.

So he uses better questions, questions that spark stories.

Try these “connection questions” with your team

Use these in meetings, events, onboarding, or even at the start of a Zoom call:

• What are you known for?
• What was your first car?
• What is something you are excited about right now?
• What is one place you have lived that shaped you?
• What is a lesson you learned the hard way?

This is not fluff. Curiosity creates connection, and connection makes collaboration easier.

Collaboration: Why Work Feels Harder When You Feel Alone

Eric shared research that boils down to this:

• When people feel isolated, tasks feel steeper and harder.
• When people feel supported, the same tasks feel more doable.

In collaborative environments, teams see improvements like:

• Staying on task longer
• Lower burnout
• Better retention
• Less loneliness

What this means for your organization

If you want better performance, you cannot optimize tools and workflows alone.

You also have to optimize the human environment, because isolation increases friction, delays, and burnout.

Know It All Culture vs Collaborator Culture

Eric drew a clean contrast:

Know-it-all culture

• People respond by proving they know more
• They correct, one-up, or minimize
• They do not match emotional energy
• Others stop sharing, then collaboration dies

Collaborator culture

• People mirror energy
• They ask follow-up questions
• They make others feel seen
• Work speeds up because trust increases

A simple test

When someone shares good news (a project win, a vacation, a milestone), does your team respond with:

“That’s awesome, tell me more.”

or

“Oh yeah, I’ve done that, here’s what you should avoid.”

That difference is culture.

Communication: Perception Is Not Reality, But It Drives Behavior

Eric tackled one of the biggest friction points in organizations: misunderstandings.

His key idea:

• Truth does not equal fact.
• People react to what they perceive, not what you intended.

So what you say matters less than what they hear. What you do matters less than what they feel.

Why this matters in emails, meetings, and member communication

You can write something that is “technically correct” and still create a negative reaction if:

• Tone reads cold
• Context is missing
• The audience is already stressed
• The message is interpreted through past experiences

The fix is not “say it louder.”

The fix is “communicate for how it will land.”

Radical Curiosity: The 4 Words That Change Hard Conversations

One of the most useful tools Eric shared is a tiny phrase shift.

When you want to say:

• “I don’t know why you did it that way.”
• “I don’t understand how you could think that.”

Add four words: “But I want to.”

So it becomes:

• “I don’t know why you did it that way, but I want to.”
• “I don’t understand how you heard it that way, but I want to.”

Why this works

When you lower your power into curiosity, people lower their defenses. That is how conversations move from debate to dialogue.

Practical Takeaways You Can Use This Week

1) Create one “radical curiosity” norm

In meetings, encourage one phrase:

• “Help me understand…”

2) Replace “I know” with one follow-up question

Any time you want to say “I know,” ask:

• “What’s the part that matters most to you?”

3) Start one meeting with a better question

Pick one connection question and use it for 3 minutes.

4) Audit your communication for perception risk

Before sending a message to members or staff, ask:

• “How could this be misread?”
• “What context do they need?”
• “What emotion might they be in when they read this?”

Wrap Up

If there is one message from Eric’s session that I want to carry forward, it is this:

Learning is more important than knowing.

Teams move faster when people feel safe admitting what they do not know, asking better questions, and staying curious instead of certain.

Have a GREAT day.